Oh what a week...

Another few mile move under our belt. Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed by the overflow of expectations on every front. Leading a family through transition, final week of school, six day work week to push crystal as Mothers Day gifts, life in general. The more I sit and wallow in my own self pity the more real life is wasted. The bottom line is I am not enough for myself, I need my Father desperately. I think I've felt so exhausted because I've made everything about myself and not taken into account that there is so much more going around me. How constant is the craftiness of the enemy and his constant efforts to shift my focus toward myself instead of my redeemer. Having the story of Job broken down tonight was powerful, the call to my Father, the call to repentance, the call to take action and engage with God instead of bottle him up for my own purposes. When I encounter my Father or catch a glimpse of his glory I can't keep the tears from welling up and overflowing. Not tears of sadness but overwhelming joy, unexplainable peace. Hope abounds and pursues offering new life and life to the full. So thankful for a God who loves and calls me his son. How can I comprehend it? What does it mean for my life while I'm here? My dad has been around for a few days and he said the wisest thing to me yesterday I can ever remember him sharing. After moving all day and then heading back to paint the old place I grumpily commented, "I hate my life", of course more of a cultural groan than an actual feeling he commented nonetheless. A man who I've felt left my mother and my siblings and myself and wandered away from God. A man I assume has regrets and feels overwhelmed and exhausted and wear after the playing out of his own story. He said, "You have some awesome friends but remember that you made a covenant with God and your wife. You called upon your father and sought to follow him and you offered yourself to serve your wife. You cannot walk away from that. Your friends will come and go but your Father will always be there and you will always be there for your wife. God loves you and he honors the covenant you've made Thiele. Stay close to him and move always closer to your wife. You and Thiele are already blessed to be closer than most married couples in this day and whether you realize it or not people are looking to you as an example of Christ filled marriage." Can you feel the weight of that? Imagine someone who didn't teach you how to shave, or how to play baseball without yelling constantly at your poor form, or tell you about how to treat others, telling you sincerely from their heart exactly what he told me. Father how great a restorer you are, how marvelous are your ways and the way you redeem relationships and bring glory to your name. In recent years my dad has made himself available, something I didn't feel he was before, and how refreshing it is. Thank you Jesus for showing your love through a close relationship with my dad, something I've longed for. Oh what a week this has been...

Brothers

There's a connection that happens when two people come together in the name of Christ. A connection of the souls in a way that cannot be broken. Time spent together seeking the Father and hearing the story he's set us in, binds together our hearts and deeper yet our spirits. If you know Jesus than you know the intimacy I speak of. The transparency of heart that happens between brothers, between sons of righteousness. Together as brothers and sisters we are better. We are better than we are alone. We weren't intended to fight alone. Jesus bind our hearts even more, bring us together as your children. Stomp all competition, jealousy and comparison. Life flows only from you. Let us crave you because you quench our thirst. Come and rescue us, fight for us, protect us from the enemy who lurks to destroy. Father keep us close. The fight is in us, your strength is in us, you Jesus have overcome, let our belief change the way we live. You are in control Father. I trust you. I need you deeply. I surrender. I am trusting that you're building a great army, a family, who will fight to see the hope you promise. Bring us together, create cooperation, stomp competition. Our hearts are yours to transform, make us new. Make us whole. We need you desperately. Take joy my king in what you hear and what you see. Be glorified among us.

A Million Miles in a Thousand Years

Check out this video from Donald Miller!

http://vimeo.com/20593341

How quickly I am taken by one lover to the next, from imposter to imposter, I am searching. Can I find a liar better than myself? Which will I choose, my options are limitless. I am an expert at pretending, portraying an image not of my own, yet I have found no joy here. Why am I empty after taking more than my fill? Have I accomplished nothing but almost complete isolation? Separated from emotion, disconnected from all feeling, numbness has become my reality. The lies begin to overwhelm my soul and condemnation by way of deceit attaches itself to my side. Oh how quickly I have arrived in this desolate place, even before I have risen from my bed. Will anyone find me here? Won't you come into this place and lead me to redemption. I cry out to be found out, reveal these inner schemes, bring them into the light. Awaken chambers of my being that are unchartered and guide me through them. From your sweet breathe of life give desire back to this broken heart of mine. Let me know what it is to taste desire so sweet, and let me find rescue in your unparalleled sacrifice. Won't you restore my heart? Won't you awaken this spirit that you created? I will meet you in the deep recesses of my heart, in the places I long to enter, where I am sure to find you.