Oh what a week...

Another few mile move under our belt. Feeling exhausted, overwhelmed by the overflow of expectations on every front. Leading a family through transition, final week of school, six day work week to push crystal as Mothers Day gifts, life in general. The more I sit and wallow in my own self pity the more real life is wasted. The bottom line is I am not enough for myself, I need my Father desperately. I think I've felt so exhausted because I've made everything about myself and not taken into account that there is so much more going around me. How constant is the craftiness of the enemy and his constant efforts to shift my focus toward myself instead of my redeemer. Having the story of Job broken down tonight was powerful, the call to my Father, the call to repentance, the call to take action and engage with God instead of bottle him up for my own purposes. When I encounter my Father or catch a glimpse of his glory I can't keep the tears from welling up and overflowing. Not tears of sadness but overwhelming joy, unexplainable peace. Hope abounds and pursues offering new life and life to the full. So thankful for a God who loves and calls me his son. How can I comprehend it? What does it mean for my life while I'm here? My dad has been around for a few days and he said the wisest thing to me yesterday I can ever remember him sharing. After moving all day and then heading back to paint the old place I grumpily commented, "I hate my life", of course more of a cultural groan than an actual feeling he commented nonetheless. A man who I've felt left my mother and my siblings and myself and wandered away from God. A man I assume has regrets and feels overwhelmed and exhausted and wear after the playing out of his own story. He said, "You have some awesome friends but remember that you made a covenant with God and your wife. You called upon your father and sought to follow him and you offered yourself to serve your wife. You cannot walk away from that. Your friends will come and go but your Father will always be there and you will always be there for your wife. God loves you and he honors the covenant you've made Thiele. Stay close to him and move always closer to your wife. You and Thiele are already blessed to be closer than most married couples in this day and whether you realize it or not people are looking to you as an example of Christ filled marriage." Can you feel the weight of that? Imagine someone who didn't teach you how to shave, or how to play baseball without yelling constantly at your poor form, or tell you about how to treat others, telling you sincerely from their heart exactly what he told me. Father how great a restorer you are, how marvelous are your ways and the way you redeem relationships and bring glory to your name. In recent years my dad has made himself available, something I didn't feel he was before, and how refreshing it is. Thank you Jesus for showing your love through a close relationship with my dad, something I've longed for. Oh what a week this has been...