Faith as small as a mustard seed

When I desperately wanted to turn around on my drive to Atlanta, exclaiming that it didn't feel right, my best friend Ed told me that change almost never feels right at first. And as I continued to drive and even after I arrived I was sure that everything was wrong. I had created an expectation that once I moved, where cost of living was less and I was better able to provide for my family, life would be easier for me. And as I left behind my friends and the most real life I had ever experienced nothing seemed easy. All of sudden my excitement about the move was replaced with a deep mourning of my soul. I arrived only 728 miles away from Chicago and the life I knew but felt as though I was galaxies away. Without consciously being aware of it, I've spent my first five days comparing everything and everyone to something or someone in Chicago. As my soul longs for and mourns over my life in Chicago I find myself asking will life ever go on outside of Chicago? Will I ever find friends that will become brothers, Will I experience life in community as it was meant to be, will I find someone who can speak hope into my life when it seems absent? It's today that I realize all of these questions come down to one, do I trust that my Father, my creator and sovereign King, is intimately and lovingly involved in my everyday life or not? Throughout my life and in every way possible Jesus has continually shown up, to prove that he was never far, and to prove that his love runs deep for me and my family. Father, you are the only place I have ever found hope and so to you I turn. 1 John 5:20-21 says "And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life. Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts." Jesus, I beg you please don't let my fear or doubt take your place in my heart. You call us by name, gather us at your feet and embrace us with a love that cannot be described. Please don't let my families heart be distracted with worry or anxiety which do not come from you. Focus our memories and hearts on the the faithfulness you've displayed in our lives, all the times you've been there and rescued us, all the times we've seem your promises come true. Father, your work and faithfulness in our lives is far from over, restore us with a new hope. We surrender our lives to you and trust you with our biggest fears. The hope I cling to is in one question, when have you ever let me down? And the answer is never. I trust you and I love you deeply. Continue to lead us on this new journey.

A new adventure begins...

On Tuesday we packed our lives into a moving truck and made the cross country move to Atlanta. I haven't in my adult life felt so broken or cried so unstoppably. As soon as we said our final goodbyes I broke apart into a million pieces and sobbed without ceasing for the next twelve hours. It's been so hard to imagine any kind of quality life happening without the people I've shared so much life with over the past five years. In all my life I never experienced relationships like that before or had brothers who loved me and truly knew me. Our friends had become out truest family. Even now I have to fight back tears when I remember that I can't see them everyday. Jesus, I trust that my life doesn't stop here and that you're gracious to provide new friendships for us here. You're my only hope Father! Please take the next year of our lives and make it rich, fill it with intimacy and growth in our relationship with you. Bond Thiele and my heart together in new ways so that we're able to lead our family well. Jesus, we need you desperately. You're our only hope, our true and loving father. We put our trust in you God. Thank you for all the family we have in Chicago. Because of the hope you offer and that our family there rests on that hope I know the relationships will be sustained. You meant us for relationship and family when you created us and you've been so faithful to see that work out in our lives. Continue to be the lord of our lives. I trust you dad, you've never let me down.