It's a boy!

It's hard to believe that it's been six months since Adrian became part of our family. I remember the events of the night like it was yesterday. Our whole family was crowded around the TV watching Americas Got Talent and Thiele was having mild contractions. After a few weeks of mild Braxton hicks she was confident this was just another false alarm (even though she was over a week late). By the time the show was ending I could tell tonight was the night (by the fifth time you know). We tucked the kids in bed and I told Thiele she needed to call the midwife. She declined while brushing off the pain. 

I didn't back down this time and insisted she called the midwife. I told her I was going to the store for snacks and if she didn't call I would when I got home. It was 8 o'clock at night when I left for Trader Joes. By the time I got home 20 minutes later the contractions were intense. Thankfully Thiele had called her midwife team and they were on the way. 

Even though we'd had four kids at this point, it was our first home birth experience (which I HIGHLY recommend). The midwife team showed up and labor progressed quickly. By 9:40pm our newest Generous came barreling (literally) into the world. He came with a speed that was unknown up to this point and set a record for the shortest Generous labor, coming in at under two hours. By 1 o'clock in the morning it was just our little family (or big depending on your vantage point) and the midwife team had left. We sat and marveled at the new life that laid in our arms. Even at number five it was a brand new experience. 

My favorite part of being a dad is that no two kids are the same. Within the first seconds of life you can tell they are their own person. A personality begins to emerge and it develops every day after. Six months later I'm so in love with this little man. His smile is infectious and he's so good at bringing us together. I love watching the older kids step up to care for him and the younger kids laugh at his antics. He's added a new layer of awesome to the mix and I can't imagine life without him. 

She wears strength on her sleeve

The only sounds in my living room are that of the dishwasher and the howling winds whipping through the trees outside. All seems quiet, peaceful and in its place. Each of the kids are tucked away in their beds sound asleep and even the dog has nothing to say. I'm amazed that I survived an evening on my own with all of the kids. 

Over the last few weeks I've been traveling so frequently I hardly recognize the feeling of my own bed. It's been exhausting for me personally but tonight I realized, in a tangible way, how exhausting it must have been for Thiele. Day in and day out she has powered through alone and endured the crazy that is life with five kids. 

Within five minutes of her departure the noise level had reached a decibel I can't describe. A chain reaction of screaming set off from one child unto the other as they mourned the departure of mommy dearest. Thankfully my eldest one maintained composure so it wasn't a complete horror scene. 

We quickly scrambled to get dinner done and everyone fed before running out the door to get Alyvia to dance class. After dropping her off I thought it would be easiest to stay out since I'd have to pick her up in two hours. In a moment of pure genius (or insanity) I drove toward Target. Why do I always end up at Target? 

On the drive to the store both of the middle kids fell asleep (the painful result of no naps) so I bribed them to come inside with the offer of dessert (take notes, this is real parenting). In case you don't know those under 12 get a free cookie every day, adding to my genius idea. We headed to the hairspray aisle (for Thiele of course) and they were out. In a momentary rage I decided "I hate Target" and left. With another hour and a half until pick up we went to the library. 

As new residents it was thrilling to get a library card (On a side note, why is that? Do people even check out books anymore?). It started off so well, three kids on foot and Adrian safely in the Ergo. How quickly peace turns to chaos. By checkout time Adrian was screaming and my youngest was running around bookshelves laughing. We (I) slunk out the door with our books in hand and headed back to the dance studio. 

After all the bedtime hoopla of tooth brushing, potty and more crying they are all asleep. I'm exhausted; mentally, physically and emotionally. Knowing my limits I am now enjoying a glass of wine celebrating the incredible strength of my wife. 

When we met we were babies and then we became bigger babies and then we had babies. It has been remarkable to see the strength she had inside come outward and the impact it has had on our family and those she meets. Recalling all that I've experienced in four hours doesn't touch her everyday reality and yet you'd never know. Her strength comes from somewhere else and it's evident. I'm so thankful to wake up next to her everyday. 

Cheers to you Thiele Rachel!

That time I had no depth perception...

After 84+ hours alone with three of my five kids they are ALL still breathing. A moment of true victory in the face of adversity. I've survived my middle children (with the help of my oldest) and I think we had fun...

Thiele took the oldest and youngest boys and jetted off for the big city to surprise one of our besties. I, admitting my limits, enlisted the help of my best friend who graciously flew across the country for the assist. In true Jonathan fashion I packed as much as was humanly possible into our weekend (many would say too much). 

Friday night we grocery shopped, grilled and had a raging bonfire (with Reese smores of course). The kids were hilarious and we laughed a lot which turned out to be a theme for most of the weekend. On Saturday we ventured into our "big city" and hit all the hip hoods. Beltline art viewing, park hopping and of course Jake's ice cream. To top off the weekend we woke up early Sunday for church then hiked the start of the Appalachian trail before calling it a wrap. 

And then today came and the crazy let loose. My bestie had to go and I had to wrangle the three alone. Did I mention I have two of my MIDDLE children (sorry Leah Generous I don't mean offense but...)? It has been a day and the waves of exhaustion keep rolling over all of us. Finally tonight a much needed return to laughter. 

We set out to get Lyvi Lou to dance at 5:45pm with my fourth cup of coffee in hand (yes four! Sorry I'm not sorry). After dropping her off we headed to the park to expel some crazy. In a moment of determination I slammed myself into a slide head first. I was trying desperately to make up for the lousy day we'd all had, trying to impress and get a smile. It smacked the sense right into me and the laughter came flooding back. I'd let my exhaustion keep me from the joy that was right there in front of me, my kiddos. There are so many choices in the day to day and I need to continually choose family. It takes effort but pays the greatest dividends. Thankful for a wake up call before the week gets away from me. 

In other news check out the aftermath...

A lesson in humility!

She holds my heart!

When you've known someone over half your life there are bound to be memories. Stories so plentiful that outsiders can't possibly keep up. I first met Thiele when we were twelve at a family cookie party up north. We were both dorky and shy and mostly dorky but there was immediate interest nonetheless. I remember the next year we sat in a snowbank for quite some time talking and awkwardly waiting for the other to offer a first kiss...

Flash forward to present day and we're celebrating our 9th wedding anniversary (holy smokes)! Yes 9th! If I'm honest it feels like much longer but I think that's just because of how much life we've packed into these last nine years. In 9 years we've moved 11 times, had 5 kids, lived in 3 states, traveled, rested and made so many memories my blog can't possible contain the details. Plus there is all of our history before we were "official". It has been a journey and we've been each other's biggest encourager. I can't imagine how I could've survived the mental trauma of that many moves without the world's best packer. 

Thiele believes in me. Every day I know if everything went off the deep end and failure was all I had, it wouldn't be all I had. Thiele would still be cheering me on, advocating for me and loving me despite my failure. She has always seen the best in me and diligently spoke truth to call me to live out the best I can offer to the world. Beyond her encouragement she offers me constant peace in a land that offers everything but. We're the best of friends!

At just shy of a decade we've endured a lot of "real" life. We've seen dreams come to life and prayers answered but we've also endured deep hurt together and loss but thankfully also forgiveness. We're far from the same people we were last year let alone nine years ago. It doesn't always look like it but I know we're getting better. We're being made new. 

There isn't anyone in the world who knows me the way Thiele does. No one who can see past the show and cut to the heart. I'm so thankful for her love and our constant adventures. I love you so much Thiele Rachel. Forever a T.R.E.E. hugger! 

A patchwork of faithfulness

One of the many reasons I love flying is how it highlights Jesus presence. As soon as the nose of the plane lifts up off the ground everything below rapidly decreases in size and significance. A new vantage point reveals itself from the air and I realize how little I am and how infinite my creator is. In these moments I'm reminded of the truly important facets of life; faith, family, adventure. 

This morning when we reached our cruising altitude I was quickly reminded of the changing seasons. The cabin temperature felt arctic in comparison to the last few trips (which is likely in part to the fact that I'm a southern gentlemen now and my blood is #THIN). Although the temperature kept me from sleeping it reminded me my favorite season was here! I love when the leaves reveal their hidden colors in a period of undeniable transition. Especially this year I find myself relating to the trees and embracing a similar transition. 

We've ventured across the country and found ourselves grasping for our previous norms. While we love to say that change makes us better I think embracing change and trusting what's today is much easier said than done. Nevertheless some of the most rewarding things emerge from the most difficult. In the midst of so many changes it has been unbelievably refreshing to see that his care for us is constant. Recently, we've found a community of followers that have been an absolute encouragement for our hearts. I'm amazed at how he's crafted together a patchwork of relationships for each of us in such a short time. Flying above the clouds and seeing all that he's been thoughtful to create I know his faithfulness is unwavering and his loving pursuit of our hearts unending. 

The last three years have been a long road for our family and often my faith has felt dormant. A distant memory of what I once had lurked and teased. Unwilling to accept the dynamic ebb and flow of our relationship I felt abandoned. I've been too proud to rely on him and wasted time proving I could do everything on my own. Yet in his kindness and love for me he continues to take care of every detail of my life. He provides for us in ways we can't describe and he keeps showing up. In new and old relationships, when I'm outside, and as I float above the clouds I know that he's in it for the long haul and so am I. So reflecting on life I have to admit that there are things I need to let go. 

If you garden (I pretend to), you're aware that fall is the best time to prune back trees and shrubs so that new growth can take place in the spring. I'm hoping to remain humble and respond to the pruning that needs to take place in my own life, trusting that he has promised new life in return and he's faithful to deliver on his promises.