Celebrate Good Times! Come on!

Holy smokes! Who knew a week could vanish as quickly as this week seemingly is? It's the mother load of celebrations this week in our house with one birthday after the next. I've replaced Sun through Sat with the following names this week; Alyvia's birthday - Break - Anderson's birthday - Break - Jesus birthday - Break - Thiele's birthday. Needless to say I am flat broke and next week will retreat into a hole for rest. 

While it has been "full", to say the least, it has also been extraordinary. Birthdays are a wonderful time to recount all the things that make those people in your life so great. A time to tell them all the ways your encouraged by the way they do life and excited for the future (also a time to eat entirely too many desserts). 

Kicking off the week with our first born beauty was spectacular. Her heart is so gentle and wise for an 8 yr old! She takes time to remember the most important things and always values quality time over anything else! 

Then our second born's celebration kicked off, complete with an extended family Christmas! His heart is wild and adventurous. He loves to build incredible towers then take them captive then destroy them. The art of creating and then reimagining and creating again. His mind is so mechanical. Without any directions he assembles almost anythings. He is a blessing for sure. 

And then the big one! Christmas Day and another wonderful birthday to celebrate. It's ine of my favorites because we all have a reason to super celebrate. We always wake up and get into our ridiculous pajamas while I read the story of Mary & Joseph and the wise men. The kids love to recall how God came and fought for our hearts and lives. They're so intent every year, each ear peeked and listening. From that point forward we do very little other than enjoy what we believe God intended us to! Family and laughing and sugar snacking!

Now we're on a break day but tomorrow holds another extraordinary reason to celebrate. Her name is Thiele and she is consistently Mother of the year (sorry other mothers). I've never seen a woman who could love so many kids so well. She often reminds me of my grandma because she is so patient and gentle in her approach. Beyond her ability to lead the kids well she is an incredible friend. She listens better than most and mostly because she actually listens (something in trying but failing miserably at). 

This week is always a whirlwind that moves at warp speed. It's also an incredible reminder of the many blessings I have in my life each and every day. I'm so thankful for my family and our crazy loud house. It's the little moments of insanity each day that bring the greatest aha moments. Wishing everyone a relaxing end to this year and refreshing start to the next. 

The moments in between

Despite having woke more than a couple times throughout the night (Azariah is preparing us for the newborn stage) I woke up feeling immensely grateful. Also sleep deprived but mostly grateful. Our weekend wasn't too far out of the ordinary yet it felt extraordinary. 

Saturday morning Anderson woke to streamers, balloons, and an impending surprise party. While he excitedly guessed who was coming and what kind of cake, Thiele and I did the adult thing. We ran like chickens with our heads cut off, scrambling to finish everything by 11am and to hide the never ending mess (next year an afternoon party). As the friends arrived one by one the house became increasingly boisterous! We hadn't hosted a large group of Anderson's friends before only Alyvia's. The difference was noticed immediately and even now there is a ringing in my ears. From the chanting of "pizza...pizza...pizza" to the bean bag fights and tumbling towers, life (and noise) was everywhere. The wild hearts of so many boys pushing the limits without fear and without regard for gravity. I was so impressed by their sense of adventure and the creativity of their young minds. It awoke a desire for adventure in my own soul. 

After the party we did what every respectful mom and dad should. We left all the mess and climbed into bed to watch Star Wars (on a 13" TV/VCR combo). It was a rite of passage for the older kids and for me a nostalgic ride down memory lane. For Anderson it was the perfect continuation of an already memorable day. 

Kids teach so much more than they are taught. Their wild sense of adventure, ability to create in an instant and vocalize the things they love are beautiful to encounter. Hearts so full of life and able to decipher things of value. Another milestone achieved in our household, the first all boy kindergarten party, and a reminder to be purposeful in the adventure we're living day in and day out. Don't take the little things for granted because more times than not the little things sustain your soul and give life to continue in the moment.  

Larger than life

For all the kids we decorate a birthday chair with balloons and celebrate first thing in the morning. This morning our youngest (I'm not counting belly yet!) entered the great and marvelous age of two. Unlike any of the Generous kids before him he has taken an obsession with Elmo. Good or bad it is his passion for the moment so tied to his breakfast chair was a giant Elmo balloon. "Melmo" he screamed with excitement this morning when I brought him upstairs. As soon as he could reach the balloon he began exuberantly swatting his dear friend (we'll coach him on proper treatment of friends later). 

Watching him light up with excitement over something so simple was a great way to start the day. Too often in my own life I don't even notice the little things that offer a smile or a memory. Driven to get things done and pressed by the cultural norms of our society I overlook the numerous joys right in front of me (back to the birthday boy). 

Azariah is our Georgia peach. Two years ago Thiele and I were saddled up in an ATL hospital watching desperate housewives of Atlanta (her choice). A new state and a new son. He came out larger than life (no seriously he was almost 10lbs)! If you have kids you know the moment I'm describing. It's a feeling that cannot be explained; excitement, awe, adoration. Now after two years of real life I'm reminded how many times we're offered the same moments. The first coo, the first poo, the first laugh and the first word. In each of these experiences if we're paying attention we have the opportunity to experience so much joy. I'm so thankful for how Azariah and my other kids keep teaching me these life lessons. Gems of hope and purpose. My kids inspire me each day and this morning I'm reminded of the their influence in my day to day. 

The time warp

It seems everyone tells you but you don't believe them. "Enjoy it now because you'll wake up one day years from now longing for it"! While growing up, time often feels at a stand still. Did high school not seem like the longest four years of your life? Yet as soon as you step foot out of your parents house time passes in a different manner. Life revs up and the moments move faster than we can understand. 

This morning on my daughters 4th birthday I am again sobered by the time warp that is life after high school. It seems like only yesterday Thiele and I stayed up all night to deliver her (alright that part was Thiele) then found ourselves up every twenty minutes the next night with our newbie. Since she was our third we were petrified by her sleep schedule since none of our other kids had been quite so cruel to wake that often. It was at this moment we knew she was sassy.  

Now looking back over what seems like only days there is a spunky little four year old leaping around my house. So many memories and moments, good and bad, that I know it can't have happened in only a matter of days yet I feel that must be true. All I hear ringing in my ears is "Enjoy it now because you'll wake up one day years from now longing for it"...

Today we celebrate the life of our middle child. Her laughter, her smile, her infectious personality and even the countless tales of her mischief. She has delighted us with stories we can tell her kids and their kids if we're lucky! She is both incredibly sassy and incredibly kind. In only four years she has left such a mark on us and helped to shape everyone in our household. 

The momentous events such as birthdays remind me of how great a time warp were doing life in. How one minute you're wondering how you'll function with three kids and no sleep and the next your eating Angeline Ballerina pancakes with a four year old. Life is a beautiful thing, the truest gift. I hope we take those sage words when they're offered and enjoy each fleeting moment because soon enough we'll be rocking on the front porch reminiscing (and definitely laughing) over all the time and memories that have passed. 

Happy Birthday Amelia! 

Shock and awe

For the first time since Saturday this morning had a feeling of normality. My face wasn't glued to the pillow, there weren't any children awake in the six o'clock hour and there was some trace of pep in my step!

I remember the good ole days when fall back meant an extra hour of sleep or an extra hour out on the town. As a father of almost five daylight savings time has morphed from a high to a low. Growing up in Michigan, on the far western edge of the time zone, the patterns of sunrise and sunset are very different than Chicago. Settled in the opposite geographical position of the central time zone the sun rises very early and likewise sets rather early. While papa bear can sleep in almost any condition, it appears my children are not as versatile. 

Until today every morning has begun painfully early, often in the five o'clock hour. Alyvia exclaimed Tuesday "I've been awake in my room since my clock read 5:42. The sun was already coming up"! (If only my son would've got the stay in your room memo) Almost boasting and of course with a smile she was excited to see the sun. Call me the grinch but I'd much rather meet the sun around 7:00 for a casual breakfast. 

Not only have the kiddos been rising at an unpreferable hour but we've also lost our evenings. I must say the sunsets from the west side of the office are breathtaking but notice I said from my office. Leaving work after the sunset and venturing out into a dark abyss is for the birds. The shock (and sleep deprivation) of daylight savings time is a constant reminder that six months of arctic tundra is just around the corner. 

While the shock and awe has been unwelcome to say the least. I'm so thankful for a morning like this. Sleeping kids who wake well rested and seem like themselves. Laughing with them while we eat delicious blueberry waffles (thanks Thiele) and encouraging one another as we go off to seize the day. This morning is a welcome one. 

2nd Day Struggle

Yesterday began a running adventure with my good friend. As the onset of old age seeks to cripple our natural abilities we thought it best to prioritize our health and beginning running four times a week. To protect our family responsibilities we've decided on 5:30am. If you haven't been up at that hour in a while I assure you it looks like 12am or 3am and by that I mean it is pitch black. Yesterday my first comment was "do the street lights look brighter than usual"?

And so we were off and it was incredible. We ventured to the lake and marveled at the way the darkness became greater over the abyss. The stark contrast between true darkness and "darkness" that exists in a city of 3 million people and countless lights. As with many new beginnings the run was joyful. It brought a sense of hope and a feeling of possibility. We can defy old age I thought to myself. 

Flash forward to 5:28am this morning when my alarm went off (notice I won't give up more sleep than absolutely necessary) and it felt like someone was lying on top of me. The weight of exhaustion or transition resting hard upon my physical body. The thoughts start churning; maybe we can meet tomorrow, what excuse can I give, do I even care if my body depletes? And so seeming like a punishment I find the strength to lift myself out of bed. I contemplated simply going in my pajamas to lessen the required effort but decided I didn't want to harm any of my neighbors who may catch a glimpse (always thoughtful). 

All in all the run was a success. As in I completed it and am alive to tell this tale. My pace wasn't even remotely close to day one but I did finish. While I now feel refreshed and rejuvenated, I woke without any desire to move let alone run. What happened to my passion for defying old age? Where did my perseverance run away to? Questions like these make me wonder why is the second day always a struggle? Or is it just me?

What day is it?

Is it really only Thursday? When the days are so full of life it can be hard to keep track of time. On one hand it feels like it's moving at a pace I can't keep up but on the other I find myself thinking "is it really only Thursday?" 

Monday was one of those days where my eyelids seemed as though they'd gained thirty pounds each (thank God that didn't actually happen). Between waking up with the oldest at 4am and having been up a few times before with some of the other kids, I was struggling to not pass out a my desk. I can hear the water cooler gossip now "have you walked through engagement services? Jonathan is drooling on his computer". While it was a temping choice I powered through the day and like a senior citizen was in bed promptly at 9pm. 

Prior to bed we received a call from our family doctor. Alyvia's initial results came back abnormal with evidence that she is having absence seizures. While it definitely sounds frightening God has really Thiele and I peace. These type of seizures are almost always outgrown and short lived. Typically lasting between 10-30 seconds but capable of happening between 50-100 times a day. Thankfully it doesn't appear that Alyvia is having them frequently. All in all this news was welcome news. The peace that came with it helped me not only get into bed at 9pm but also fall quickly asleep. 

Tuesday came faster than expected as my youngest child decided 5am was rise and shine time. Where do they get their energy? I can drink three cups of coffee and go to bed three minutes later. Any secrets to stay awake (must be legal)? Otherwise a more typical day and thankfully my eyelids lost 15 pounds  each! The evening was a warp speed segment thanks to my packing procrastination. Quickly throwing things in a suitcase and laying out a suit for a 6am flight. Suddenly the realization (and panic) that I had to up and on my way in less than six hours. 

Thankfully my anxiety prepped me to set multiple alarms because I missed the first (sorry to wake you Thiele). Too many people believe business travel is glamorous but I assure you it is more exhausting than glamorous. Get up early, catch a flight, meeting 1, meeting 2, client lunch, meeting 3, meeting 4, client dinner, hotel check in! 17 hours later there are no thoughts just psychosis. 

So this morning I took a break because sleep deprivation my friends is real. It was a beautiful morning to run through NashVegas and soak up the historical sites. A moment to let my mind absorb the healing and resting effects of fresh air. It has been a week to remember and I checked my to phone to confirm it is only Thursday...

Flying high

The anticipation of an early morning flight is less than exhilarating. The panic of knowing you have a hard deadline at 6am often causes unnecessary anxiety. After arriving safely (and on time) to my flight there's the thrill of takeoff. Even though I fly about every other week I still get excited to look out the window. The change of perspective is a welcome one. 

Taking off in the deepest darkness to burst through the layer of clouds reveals the stark contrast of sun shade orange and red. It's a moment you realize how small you are and how big your creator is. The details are so numerous my senses are overwhelmed. And I long for these moments. Moments of clarity and calm. On this morning in particular I'm reminded of Gods consistency and his grandeur. 

Flight for me is one of the many places my father speaks to me. He reveals his majesty to me and speaks to longing of my heart. I am so thankful for his companionship. 

A parenting first...

My oldest daughter came barreling into our lives almost eight years ago. Long before I had even a little no how on the best ways to bring up a child (which had become my biggest role). Throughout the journey Thiele and I have loved so deeply we didn't know it was possible. We've since had three other rugrats and countless nights without much sleep. Did I mention number five is on the way?

Every single day, or even hour, provides countless learning opportunities as little people have a knack for teaching. It's not a traditional classroom by any means but their unique dependence on you requires character traits that must be cultivated. So now after years of raising these beautiful, unique and completely individual personalities I'm struck by another parenting first, the first neurological test. 

As it sounds, this was definitely not a test I anticipated and I really was hoping this wouldn't be the type of parenting first I had to walk through. So many of the parenting firsts are so thrilling; the first step, first word, first time they poop through their clothes in public or on a relative, etc. This definitely does not have the same feeling. With this first my heart is heavy though I know God is already at work. 

A couple months back we started noticing that Alyvia would sometimes zone out for thirty seconds or so then after saying her name three times (think Dorothy's ruby red slippers) come back with "What?". To be honest I thought we had entered a different parenting first, the "I'm done listening to my parents and have my own timetable for conversation" first. Initially we shrugged it off as that but shared it through conversation and when we did family began to agree that she did sometimes seemingly drift away then return. We made an initial appt with our family physician who said it is likely nothing but recommended we see a neurologist. A who? 

This was not a parenting first I wanted to enjoy. Especially since they're making us keep her up until midnight then wake her at four in the morning. So here I sit at 4:44am watching my first born struggle to stay awake as we anticipate a neuro test later this morning. While it is very possible there is nothing to fear I can't help but stare at her fondly wondering what the result will be. Remembering when I first saw her sweet face and understood at a deeper level for the first time how much love the father has for us. Thanking him for what a wonderful family he has brought together and the vivid colorful story is writing at this very moment. 

Enough for now! I want to make more memories so we're off for breakfast at some hole in the wall diner!