Faith as small as a mustard seed

When I desperately wanted to turn around on my drive to Atlanta, exclaiming that it didn't feel right, my best friend Ed told me that change almost never feels right at first. And as I continued to drive and even after I arrived I was sure that everything was wrong. I had created an expectation that once I moved, where cost of living was less and I was better able to provide for my family, life would be easier for me. And as I left behind my friends and the most real life I had ever experienced nothing seemed easy. All of sudden my excitement about the move was replaced with a deep mourning of my soul. I arrived only 728 miles away from Chicago and the life I knew but felt as though I was galaxies away. Without consciously being aware of it, I've spent my first five days comparing everything and everyone to something or someone in Chicago. As my soul longs for and mourns over my life in Chicago I find myself asking will life ever go on outside of Chicago? Will I ever find friends that will become brothers, Will I experience life in community as it was meant to be, will I find someone who can speak hope into my life when it seems absent? It's today that I realize all of these questions come down to one, do I trust that my Father, my creator and sovereign King, is intimately and lovingly involved in my everyday life or not? Throughout my life and in every way possible Jesus has continually shown up, to prove that he was never far, and to prove that his love runs deep for me and my family. Father, you are the only place I have ever found hope and so to you I turn. 1 John 5:20-21 says "And now we live in fellowship with the true God because we live in fellowship with his son, Jesus Christ. He is the only true God, and he is eternal life. Dear children, keep away from anything that might take God's place in your hearts." Jesus, I beg you please don't let my fear or doubt take your place in my heart. You call us by name, gather us at your feet and embrace us with a love that cannot be described. Please don't let my families heart be distracted with worry or anxiety which do not come from you. Focus our memories and hearts on the the faithfulness you've displayed in our lives, all the times you've been there and rescued us, all the times we've seem your promises come true. Father, your work and faithfulness in our lives is far from over, restore us with a new hope. We surrender our lives to you and trust you with our biggest fears. The hope I cling to is in one question, when have you ever let me down? And the answer is never. I trust you and I love you deeply. Continue to lead us on this new journey.