I still remember my 20th birthday party at the Sexy Lexy in Detroit (this was our building's nickname just to clarify). Shortly after, Thiele and I were visiting family in northern Michigan jumping on trampolines with our niece. We had no idea it'd be our last weekend as two. During the next week Thiele came flying into my work and asked if we could talk. We stepped outside and I learned that we were expecting. This was the first truly defining moment of the decade. It was a challenge to step into or run away from. Many people were shocked, sad, and angry but it wasn't their decision and so we carried on. By the end of the 9th month of my 20th year I met the most incredible little lady, my Alyvia Alexa Elizabeth (the rest of the tribe came every two years like clock work).
We stayed in Michigan for a short time after our little lady made her debut but Thiele and I already had plans to live in Chicago. In April of 2007 we set off for a tiny apartment at Belmont/Paulina for way more money than we could actually afford. Of course we then struggled to put things in place and at one point I found myself pawning my DVD collection (which honestly I feel was wise since I'd get nothing now). God showed up in undeniable ways and provided for our every need. By the end of the summer we'd become pretty connected to a great community of believers and found ourselves participating in a church plant by early 2008. The community we experienced for the years after the plant remain defining relationships in my life and a picture of how God intended people to engage.
For the middle of my 20's there was a constant rhythm. New kids and new friends and lots of running (some would argue alternating dogs). There was also a major hurdle. Our friend group was rocked by the pain and sorrow of another couples divorce. It had a ripple effect in our church and caused so much devastation in it's wake. For many it was hard to overcome for a long period of time and our church had a difficult time moving past it. For me, the proximity was too close and it tore out a piece of my soul. I didn't respond by turning closer to Jesus but instead kept him at arms length which begin many seasons of doubt and unrest.
In part of my running we moved across the country to Atlanta. The food was too good but I spent the entire time comparing every restaurant, every commute, every person I met to the people I loved in Chicago. My heart posture was not healthy and comparison never leads to building up. Instead of engaging I found myself judging people and making excuses why I couldn't be friends with them while the rest of my family settled in and engaged in new relationships. Needless to say my wandering heart tore us back to Chicago for a second chance.
It didn't take long after our return to realize life didn't stop in our absence. Even though I stopped making new friends in Atlanta it seemed all of my friends in Chicago had moved on. I couldn't bear my miscalculation and so continued to keep everyone at arms length while I reacclamated to city life. As usual, my beautiful wife wasted no time re-engaging and building new friendships all around our neighborhood. The kids started school and I took up biking to work (most of you know that outcome 🗞). It turned out much better than it began and I wouldn't change any of it now.
Flash forward to the last year of my 20's and we find ourselves back in Atlanta. This time I'm applying the learnings of the decade and loving it here. We're up to four kids, two dogs and an ice cream thief. The kids continue to challenge me as they grow up and I'm so proud of who they're becoming. Our relationship helps me better understand all the ways God is pursuing, caring and loving me which is literally changing my life. The 20's were full of so many memories I'll cherish forever and so many defining moments that have shaped how I follow Jesus now. Here's to the 30's which are looking too good and the delicious breakfast I was served in bed!!
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